The Web of Meaning – where this story begins

I’d never heard the term “web of meaning” until recently (late 2022) when I was doing some training with the North Shore Hospice.

Before you’re allowed to work face to face with patients, you have to complete a full day’s orientation.  It was all very useful and practical – confidentiality, boundaries,  and how to wash our hands properly!

After lunch, we had a talk from a man who looks after the spiritual needs of patients.  I’ll call him John for now.  As you probably know, people come to hospice when they are facing imminent death.  So John talks to many people whose expected lifespan can be measured in days, weeks or months and are facing death.  Not surprisingly, they arrive with the whole spectrum of personal, interpersonal and spiritual beliefs.

He showed us a powerpoint slide titled “Web of Meaning.”  It was an expression I’d never encountered, but it leapt off the screen to me!

For years, I’ve been looking for an overarching term to apply to the package of thoughts and beliefs and biases and preferences that every has, including every kind of spiritual viewpoint from deeply religious to “spiritual but not religious (SBNR),” to agnostic to atheist.

Finally, I had my term!

For a long time, it’s been clear to me that each one of us possesses a “web of meaning” — our own, unique set of deeply held thoughts, beliefs, attitudes and gut feelings.

It has developed and evolved in the context of our lifelong personal experiences—our family of origin, our extended family, our education, our spiritual or religious background, our friendships, our work, our leisure, our culture, our politics, where we live, our nation.  And how we see ourselves as global citizens.

It quite literally defines the world we see, and is unique to every individual.  It’s like the set(s) of glasses we look at the world through.

Aspects of it are in our awareness, while other parts exist beneath the surface, sometimes completely hidden in our unconscious.

Ideally, our Web of Meaning is self-defined, but it is often also influenced (sometimes dominated) by early childhood messages and experiences.  You’ve probably heard that quote ascribed to a Jesuit saint who said, “Give me a child until the age of seven and I will show you the adult.”  TV advertisers know this too, and create advertisements designed to hook the imaginations of young children.

Back to hospice:  Patients at the end of life commonly think about the meaning their life has had, what their legacy will be, both personal and material, and, “what happens next?” when they die.

In Hospice, the patient’s needs always come first, so John’s role is mostly to listen.  Listen, listen, listen.  Occasionally ask a question to clarify an issue.  (It should be pointed out that people facing death more than anything want the comfort of loved ones around them—much more than counselling support!)

But John’s role is to help them think about their lives, their successes and failures, what really matters to them, the joys and the regrets, the relationships they cherish.  And, of course, how they feel about their own imminent departure from life.

I’m sure John would agree that his work is helping patients clarify and contemplate their “web of meaning.”

And here’s my challenge to you:  If people find this worthwhile on their deathbed, why not do some “web of meaning” work while you are well, with many years of life ahead of you?

Put another way, have you ever asked yourself, “Is there more to life than what I’m experiencing now?”

I’ve asked this question of many friends and acquaintances, and the answer is usually “Er, I guess so!”  (They’re Kiwis, so a direct “Yes” is less likely!)

This is the question which has prompted this “Web of Meaning” project.

What can motivate us to examine our lives more fully, openly and deeply?

The unexamined life is not worth living.”

Socrates — 2600 years ago

I would suggest he could also have said “A life without a web of meaning is not worth living.”

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